Whilst the words ‘female hysteria’ may seem like a blast from the past to many, this phrase is whispered towards the sufferers of endometriosis like a dirty secret. A recent survey by Endometriosis UK of over 13,500 women with endometriosis revealed that over half reported having thoughts of suicide. This figure is unsurprising when one considers not only the pain caused by the illness, but also its stigma and its arduous, often endless, diagnostic period. From the age of fifteen, I have spent at least twelve hours a month unconscious in a scalding bathtub in an attempt to escape the wrath of the infernal beast inside my uterus. Almost as hard to escape, and almost as damaging, are the opinions of every male within a ten mile radius regarding my taboo lady issues.
Despite feeling quite sound of mind, my sanity has been questioned a few more times than the average person due to my illness. One instance that springs to mind was the first GP appointment where I mentioned the dreaded E-word. Choking back tears whilst trying to verbalize the unyielding grasp my own reproductive system had over me, I was met with silence and an expression of poorly-masked repulse. In what felt like slow-motion, the words “Are you sexually active?“ left my GP’s mouth. I mumbled a feeble ‘yes’ in response and from that moment on, any attempt to be taken seriously was futile. I was asked a myriad of questions ranging from ‘Have you ever considered the contraceptive pill?’ to ‘Are you aware of the risks of engaging in premarital sex?’ I was also asked what I was studying, and where. According to my GP, my sexual promiscuity was particularly irresponsible considering my status as an Oxford student. Not only that, I was clearly taking for granted an opportunity that many would pray earnestly for by playing Russian roulette with my female organs. So, that was it. My inexplicable abdominal pain, which led me to vomit copiously and pass out at least three days a month, was simply divine punishment. I left the doctor’s with no answers, no dignity and absolutely no hope for modern feminism.
But, not to worry. It’s not only qualified medical professionals who have an opinion on female reproductive issues, completely unqualified and uneducated men do too. While on a date with my boyfriend at the time, we passed a billboard raising awareness for endometriosis. He scoffed, “That’s not even a real thing.” Appalled, I looked over at him, hoping he was playing some tasteless prank on me. In reality, it was much worse. “All women get period cramps, some just clearly can’t handle it.” The confidence with which men discuss female issues that they have no knowledge of never fails to amaze me. Due to his ignorance, it took me a further two years of agony before I spoke up about my experience because I assumed that the reception would be as dismissive everywhere.
Luckily, the NHS experience in Oxford is slightly less akin to the Salem witch trials than in my hometown. I was quickly referred to the gynecology department for a scan. I was naively filled with hope for a future that didn’t involve waging war with my own body every month. The scan revealed almost nothing. No internal damage, no battlefield within my uterus, just a small mass of tissue which I was told was ‘relatively harmless’. That was it. Relatively harmless. During a follow-up appointment, my doctor told me that endometriosis is often unidentifiable even after an examination, and that they were happy to give me a diagnosis even though I showed no clear signs of it in my scan and it may be something completely different that they just can’t spot.
That was the end of my diagnostic journey with endometriosis, and I feel just as unsatisfied and full of questions as I did at the beginning. Despite my trials and tribulations, I am one of the lucky ones. According to Endometriosis UK, it takes the average person 7.5 years to receive an endometriosis diagnosis, with many women having suffered for decades before their voices are heard. The World Health Organization estimates 10% of reproductive-age women and girls across the globe experience endometriosis. That’s 190 million women whose education, careers and personal lives are detrimentally impacted due to intense pain, fatigue, infertility, anxiety and depression. Whilst there is so much more awareness for endometriosis than there was at the start of the 21st century, it is clear that there is a long way to go. Endometriosis is not fake news, it is not female hysteria nor is it a consequence of being a concubine. It is an extremely real progressive disorder that deserves endless attention and awareness to make up for time lost.