Welcome back, dearies! Is anyone else exhausted? Your college auntie is. It’s the end of the term and I’m just about ready to drop dead. A three-day hibernation may be required.
Where did Your College Auntie go? I feel like she popped up and then immediately left.
Sounds like someone isn’t following The Oxford Blue’s Instagram account. I’m sorry, dearies. Even college aunties get overworked sometimes. Don’t blame me – blame my tutor. But, like a phoenix rising from the ashes of her particularly bad essay, I will always return. Never fear. I’m always here for you.
Study spots where you can catch the afternoon sun??
As first-year law students and second-year classicists battle mods, and as we approach exam season, some of us will turn into vampires. But that doesn’t have to be the case! My fellow Oxonians, never underestimate the power of working anywhere and everywhere. In your college auntie’s own college, there are always people scattered on the quad working in the sunshine. Your college auntie herself got some of her best prelims revision done in Christ Church meadows. Exams don’t mean you have to become Vitamin D deficient! Go outside – that’s an order. I’m not a medic (or am I?), but it’s still doctor’s orders. If it’s a pub garden or the bench by your accommodation, study in the sun any place you can. Parks, cafes, wherever – the good thing about sunshine is that you can get it almost anywhere. Just stay out of the glink…
I’ve been with my bf for nearly two years and I love him so much, he makes me feel so safe and happy. Recently l’ve started to have a bit of a crush on another guy. I don’t spend time thinking about him but whenever I see him it just feels like there is this small spark there. I feel awful about it though and the last thing I want to do is hurt my bf. I would never ever act on my feelings, but I think I miss the thrill of a new relationship. How can I work on this??
In my experience, if you catch feelings for someone else, it probably means you’re not actually in love. Every single time I’ve fallen in love – properly in love (which doesn’t happen in every relationship) – no one else has existed to me. If you are really, truly in love, then you wouldn’t miss the thrill of a new relationship. When you’re really in love – and I mean on an atomic level, right down to your bones – you never leave the honeymoon phase. You may face challenges, but those feelings never fade, they only grow stronger. For your boyfriend’s and your own sake, reconsider this relationship. Do you love him, or is he just familiar and safe? Do you want this relationship, or do you just dislike change?
Is it normal to (whilst wholeheartedly enjoying my degree) constantly switch between looking forward to leaving Oxford, and simultaneously wanting to stay here forever?
Oh sweetie, I think many Oxford students have felt this way – your college auntie included. Oxford is a wonderful place, but it is also a very stressful environment. I doubt whether that stress can ever fully be done away with, but it can be mitigated and managed by getting out of the city occasionally, and by being kind to yourself. Give yourself breaks. It’s only ever three or four years (unless you’re a medic). Persevere, stay strong, and try to focus on the good. These little contradictions within ourselves are what make us human.
my tutor literally said my recent essay was shit and gave terrible comments, advice?
Don’t be disheartened dearie! Tutors can be horrible – they seem to think it builds character. Your tutor should know better, and discern between what kind of criticism is constructive and what isn’t. Be assertive with your tutor. If you don’t understand their comments, question them on it. Take it from a seasoned professional when it comes to academic complaints: tutors half-ass things – especially marking – just as much as students do. Push back on it. You deserve feedback that you can actually use. And remember: you are always getting better. This is but a blip.
There’s this guy who’s cheated on his gf with me more than once. I knew that he was in a relationship when it happened. I know I suck but idk whether to tell his gf or not.
Tell the girlfriend. You can’t undo the past, but it is up to you what you do with the future. Your college auntie has been cheated on in the past. I have never blamed the person they cheated with, but I certainly wish I’d been told earlier. If he’s cheated with you, he’s likely to cheat with other people. At the very least, this girl needs to be protected from any STDs that her ‘boyfriend’ could potentially catch. But she also deserves the truth. What she does with that truth is out of hands.
Is it possible for 2 lesbians to be friends?? Trying to work out if she wants to be my friend or more
We need more lesbian friendships in 2025 – and more lesbian friendships where they aren’t exes. My best advice for girls trying to date girls: flirt with her. Don’t compliment her in the way you’d compliment a friend. For example: don’t say “that looks really good on you” or “I love your outfit”; instead say “you look really good in that outfit.” Centre the compliment around her. Or just be blunt and ask her outright. She’ll understand.
Why do Oxford situationships hurt SO much???? I still think you’re special, pls come back x
There truly is something in the water at Oxford – and not just the E. Coli – that makes Oxford situationships cause a different kind of pain. We do, however, recover from that pain. The vac is imminent. Take the time away to heal.
So dearies, as we all complete our last pieces of work, as we turn them in and immediately go to Bridge, let us also take the time to reflect on this term. Like an Oxford situationship, you know I’ll always love you. Good luck with the end of term, my dears. Don’t party too hard, but do write about it on Oxfess. I’ll see you all next week.