Before starting this article properly, I’d like to clarify that this column is based on my solo outings beyond the bubble. This is, in part, to show that you can work on dealing with homesickness regardless of your social situation at university. But it is also to highlight how important it is to grow your self-confidence through doing things alone. Society tends to centre around group activities, particularly in cities, so the idea of venturing out by yourself can sometimes feel quite daunting. However, doing things alone can give you something to be proud of – you can feel brave and empowered from challenging the social ‘norm’ to only do nice things with other people.
I had to remind myself of this when I stepped onto the bus and couldn’t remember the word ‘Headington’ when the driver asked where I was going. I also had to remind myself of it fifteen minutes later when I walked confidently to the front of the bus and tried to push the doors open, only to find that we had stopped at a traffic light, not a designated stop. I was mortified. Nonetheless, I eventually got off (at the actual stop) with my head held high, knowing I had still been brave in going to a new place alone.
Headington is not particularly special. Although, just to clarify, I’m not dissing the town – if you live there, I am sure you think it’s the bee’s knees. I just mean that it is probably not somewhere you might expect me to write a column about. ‘Headington shops’, where I spent most of the day, was just your regular, slightly down-at-heel, town-centre high street. However, this was actually the reason I picked this location.
The hustling, bustling life of Oxford city centre, with its buildings of grandeur, is the opposite of what I’ve known my whole life. I have lived in urban areas, but nowhere comparable to the liveliness and drama of this city. So I sought out Headington, a much less busy, less grand location – similar to my hometown.
I started the day by wandering around the high street’s selection of coffee shops and settled upon Costa, the least busy of the lot. I ordered my hot chocolate and was lucky that the armchair by the window was free, so I settled down and started some work on my laptop. Whilst in the cafe, I was comforted by the conversations I was overhearing. A group of locals sat near me, and it was incredibly refreshing to hear their normal discussions. There was no mention of essays, stressful tutorials, or student gossip. It was just a general background noise of, “How are you?”, “I’m fine, how are you?”, etc… You’d be surprised how much overhearing stressful conversations can impact your own stress level. My much-improved productivity and general state of calm in this cafe really highlighted this to me, and how much Oxford had been subliminally making me anxious.
Although I was so comfortable that I really could’ve stayed in that Costa for the rest of the day, I owed it to myself to get out and explore at lunchtime. My first mission was to visit the iconic ‘Headington Shark’. For those of you who don’t know, the ‘Headington Shark’ is a sculpture of a shark crashing through the roof of a property in Headington. When I was researching it online, it sounded wonderful; when I was right in front of it, it was significantly less so. I must’ve stood on that street facing the shark for about 15 minutes. Not for the sculpture’s merit, but because I was just so utterly bemused by the whole thing. Nobody, and I mean nobody, was on this street. I was completely alone looking at this monstrous sculpture, and I genuinely felt quite perturbed. It was as though everyone was just completely inured to the weirdness of it.
After briskly walking away from the shark, which proceeded to totally freak me out whenever I thought about it for the next few hours, I headed in the direction of The White Horse pub. I’d just like to briefly note that I wouldn’t necessarily recommend a trip to a pub alone as a woman. I have done it a couple of times in this series, but I have to say it’s not always the most comfortable experience. This pub, though, seemed quite safe as it was more of a restaurant. I made sure to sit at a table in full view of the staff members and was able to order my meal on an app, so I didn’t need to go up to the bar. When my food arrived, I was very pleasantly surprised. I ordered a mushroom and ale pie with chips and gravy, and it was delicious. Proper pub grub.
Following this and the subsequent walk back up the hill to Headington shops, I treated myself to some charity shop visits. I found that the folks in the Headington charity shops were all impeccably kind. Every member of staff I spoke to was so keen to have a conversation about something or another, and it really made me feel at home. I think that’s another thing we miss out on because of the fast pace in Oxford city centre – wholesome interactions with strangers. In the final charity shop I visited, I stumbled upon the most beautiful double-breasted green jacket. I instantly fell in love and snapped it up straight away. £12 for a top-quality Dorothy Perkins jacket? Don’t mind if I do!
I finished my trip in a virtually-empty Starbucks, and, as I sat down, I reflected on how utterly quiet Headington had been that day. I was expecting the town to be packed full of students from Oxford Brookes as it’s so nearby, but it wasn’t. It just felt like a normal, non-university town. This normality brought me back down to earth. I felt like I had some space (literally!) from the rush of Oxford, and I could focus on my work without any underlying stress.
If you get anything from this column, I hope that it’s even a small bit of inspiration to step out of the immediate city centre from time to time. You will find that it can honestly make the world of difference.