I write this column on a train heading home. Quite apt, considering that the aim of my article is to shine a light on the often hidden and seldom discussed university experience of ‘the homesick student’. As the train departs from the spires and bustling life of the city I once yearned for, I find myself taken aback by a feeling of relief.
Of course, being homesick doesn’t mean that you don’t appreciate the opportunity you have been given to study in this amazing place. Nor does it mean that you don’t value the wonderful people you may have met or all the knowledge you have gained. It’s just that – for some of us – homesickness is a constant black cloud that casts a shadow over our lives, every day.
‘The student experience’ is a term I strongly dislike. It is invariably used to encapsulate the feelings, emotions, and activities of all students. Yet, not only does it exclude the different experiences of those coming from a range of economic or cultural backgrounds, it also fails to resonate with those who don’t fit the ‘norm’. The term ‘student experience’ is often shorthand for drunken evenings, house parties, large friendship groups, and a newfound sense of freedom away from home. Although I am sure many students relate wholeheartedly to this description, there are many who don’t.
In comparison to other topics like stress, anxiety, or depression, homesickness tends to be put on the back burner in discussions about mental health after the first term of first year. Students are frequently told they will “settle down” or that they will “get used to living at university”. There is something of a stigma around being homesick, one that sets you apart from others who are (seemingly) fitting into ‘the student experience’ with far greater ease. I so dearly hope that this stigma is soon eradicated. The more conversations we have about feelings of homesickness, the less shame we will feel, and the more we can collaborate on methods of coping with it. Shame about homesickness is something I have felt, and I am sure others have, too. However, you can actually find empowerment from being homesick: it shows you that you value your family, friends from home, or even your hometown.
‘Beyond the Bubble’ is a column about coping with life as an Oxford student if you suffer from homesickness. I am an undergraduate in my final year and have been navigating feelings of homesickness since my very first day in the city. Having tried and tested a variety of different methods to deal with these feelings, each as unsuccessful as the last, I have come to the conclusion that (for me, at least) the only remaining solution is to leave the ‘bubble’ of Oxford City Centre.
Now, I am not talking about anything as permanent as rusticating or dropping out. I’m just dedicating a little time each week to change my environment, to take my mind off being away from home and to help deal with the claustrophobia I sometimes feel in the city. Once a week, you’ll find me detailing my various outings ‘beyond the bubble’, and by doing so, I hope that I will be able to spread more awareness about homesickness at university. I also hope that it might help others who are feeling the same to find ways of coping.
I am on my way home early this term. Usually, I split the weeks up a little more evenly and travel home at longer intervals. Nonetheless, I am relieved to take some time to calm down without the stress of homesickness. I will still be working on an essay and a dissertation draft, but doing so in a more comfortable environment. For the first year of my studies, I felt I had to ‘challenge’ myself not to go home. Some will tell you that going home can make homesickness worse. Although that may be the case for some, we are all different, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. I find that going home has the opposite effect, and I return to Oxford feeling more energised and ready to tackle life in the city again.
Of course, there are limits to going home. You must ensure that you are following university guidelines about terms of residence and attending all the required meetings, lectures, seminars, and classes. Travel costs can also make going home more difficult. To help with that, this column will provide some local alternatives. Sometimes, the reminder that you can leave the ‘bubble’ for a day, or half a day, without necessarily going home is reminder enough that you’re not trapped in Oxford. I’m on a mission to ensure that those of us battling homesickness can still have a great ‘student experience’ too!