As a society, we have progressed beyond the need for suits, even if there was ever a need for them in the first place. We have succumbed to a bizarre form of social conditioning, of groupthink, that has resulted in suits attaining a prominence that is not only unnecessary but undeserved. They are a bizarre and badly-designed item of clothing that serves no purpose well, yet has been propelled to prominence in a wide variety of completely unrelated fields. Now, they can be seen everywhere from a smart northern pub to drab offices and state occasions. Is there a better item of clothing that actually suits each purpose better? Of course there is. 

You may think this is a rather extreme position to take, and maybe I am exaggerating a little. But not much. I truly believe that the world has collectively refused to think critically about suits for the past century. That despite so much thought going into so many developing fields, no one has thought about suits, and no one has questioned their ubiquity and their exalted position. We just blindly accept the distinctly dubious equation that suits=smart, or suits=work. We see our parents, teachers, politicians, and figures of authority from all walks of life all wearing the same garment day in, day-out so that eventually we just associate the two in our minds. Suits are authority, and authority is expressed by people in suits. 

I know this might sound silly. But just stop and think for a second; what purpose do suits actually serve that couldn’t be done better by another item of clothing? What do we think suits symbolize? Because as a society we’ve forced them into so many occasions that they can no longer serve each purpose well, but all their purposes badly. If we accept the (dubious) argument that suits make us work better and therefore symbolize the work-day: why do we wear them to fancy parties? How can anyone seriously believe that wearing a suit magically instills hard work and seriousness when taking a quick look at any Oxford ball shows you the complete opposite picture? Why don’t I see everyone wearing suits while studying in the Rad-Cam? Or take the argument the opposite way- if suits are for formal, ceremonial occasions such as a wedding, funeral, or big occasion: why do so many people wear them every day in the office? Why do we celebrate the most important days of our lives in a slightly fancier version of our average work wear? It would be like a builder getting married in a full fluorescent jacket and hard hat, but with a bit of tinsel on the top. Suits serve too many, largely contradictory purposes, and not only that, but they serve all of them badly. 

What benefits do suits actually give? I think we can all agree that suits are incredibly uncomfortable and very impractical to complete basic activities, like walking or moving. I anticipate that you might think “they make you look smart”. Perhaps. But why? Why do we think that suits are smart? Again, the only reason we think so is that we’ve been told this explicitly and implicitly for our entire lives. There’s no actual, objective reason that suits are considered smart, except that the people we consider to be smart, wear suits. It’s a circular argument- suits make you smart and being smart means you wear a suit. And the thing that annoys me most about this whole situation is that everyone seems to think that this state of affairs is ‘how it’s always been’ or ‘tradition’ when in actual fact it’s a modern phenomenon. When you picture Henry VIII, is he wearing a three-piece from Savile Row? Did Phillip of Spain order the armada while tucking his jacket onto the back of his chair? Did America’s founding fathers sign the constitution in an innovative navy blue number? I didn’t think so. 

The idea of a vague shirt plus trousers plus jacket combination was only really standardized in the early 18th century, and even then only in the royal court. Not to mention, these didn’t look anything like a suit. It was only by the very late 19th century that the current iteration of a suit was properly developed and used, and hardly anyone actually wore them until well into the 20th century. Do you want to guess the most ironic part of this whole social charade? Our current understanding of a suit was considered informal. For the past century, we have been forced to wear this impractical set of clothes, desperately trying to look smart and formal, and we messed it up by wearing clothes that were originally deemed casual and informal. All this effort because no one has been bothered to actually give the matter more than ten seconds of thought. 

Suits are objectively bad to work in. In many areas of the world they are simply too hot, especially with a jacket, leading to more air conditioning that creates a negative impact on the environment, and unnecessary costs for companies. For occupations that involve writing, ink stains and white shirts are an obvious recipe for disaster. Starched collars and cuffs restrict easy movement and make both typing and writing marginally more difficult. In an era of marginal gains, is that not an important change to make? It is also notable that as people work from home, many have ditched the suit, or only wear it on their upper half for zoom meetings. Does this not indicate that the vast majority of people don’t actually like working in a suit? That its supposed magic in making everyone productive is yet another myth perpetuated through the generations without being properly scrutinised? 

Suits are also objectively bad for big occasions. Sure, you do look cool in black tie. It is nice looking. But as soon as you leave your bathroom mirror and enter the event with every single other person wearing exactly the same outfit, it rapidly downgrades from special to ordinary. Precisely when you want to look nice, and perhaps even stand out, you merge into the hordes of other people wearing exactly the same suit. Moreover, for events where you want to dance or run or, you know, have any movement other than standing and walking, the restrictiveness of the jacket and tie becomes an issue. Why do we bother wearing bow ties to balls when we know they’ll be off within a few hours? 

Moreover, suits don’t actually look that good. They’re all in boring dark colours, with the only slight hint of personalization being a tie, or cufflinks. Both, by the way, are solutions to entirely artificial problems that suits have created. Why design a shirt that you can’t actually wear without two other accessories? It’s like a video game that’s unplayable without multiple expansion packs. While people who want to wear dresses get the option of having a variety of styles and colours for their formal wear, those in suits are stuck in deciding what colour of pocket square we can use to encapsulate our entire personality. 

Not only are they boring, but also really unnecessarily expensive. For most occasions you need matching trousers and jackets, driving the price up, and also a tie. But wait, because you’ll need to buy two types of ties- both of which are equally useless. School uniforms can prove prohibitively expensive for some families, and when businesses judge employees based on how ‘smart’ they look, inevitably those who can buy better suits have an advantage based on quite literally nothing except their wealth. Shirts need to be ironed, which takes a fair bit of time, despite the fact that the vast majority of a shirt is hidden under a jacket. 

The whole system is illogical and stupid at best and downright classist at worst. It is symptomatic of a lack of thought and unquestioning acceptance of tradition. After all, a set of clothing that was invented to preserve some monarchs’ superiority and status,  is hardly suitable for the modern world.