Welcome back to the Lifestyle Lowdown, where our fabulous team of editors give you our best advice on… well… life.
Life as an Oxford student can sometimes feel pretty draining, whether that’s due to the heavy workload, social pressures, or simply navigating living alone for the first time — not to forget the added obstacle of taking on the ‘adult’ world while collectively lacking a fully developed pre-frontal cortex. So, this week, we’re giving our advice on how to protect your mental health at university in small, realistic ways.
Academic Anxiety 101
Like so many other students here, I’ve been dealing with academic anxiety and self-inflicted pressure since long before I came to Oxford. These tips are written not so much with a focus on how to fight your fears, but on how to stop them from dictating the shape your day will take.
1. Every night before bed, make a short list of things you want to get done tomorrow. Try and include something personally fulfilling (seeing a friend, gaming, getting a sweet treat) as well as your academic goals. You’ll feel calmer going to sleep and wake up with a plan to follow. Try to be realistic, not optimistic, so that you will actually be able to achieve what you set out to do – and bonus points if you write it with colourful felt tip pens like me!
2. Never work in bed in the morning. I often feel as if taking the time to get dressed and make breakfast will mean I start work ‘too late’, so I start my reading or essay writing in bed, wearing pyjamas. But this is a slippery slope towards not starting the day at all, and I have begrudgingly learned that having something to eat and getting all dressed up puts you in a better headspace to be productive!
3. Breathing fresh, outside air every day is non-negotiable, even if your deadlines are imminent. A pitfall of my first year living out of college has been that I often don’t want to leave my cosy flat until I’ve developed cabin fever. But while it’s obviously best to go out in the daytime – Oxford is a beautiful city when you take the time to look – I know from experience that taking that 7pm walk in the dark will still be good for you.
4. Try yoga! If you struggle with stress, you can become so preoccupied with what’s on your mind that you begin to feel ‘disembodied’. Preachy as it sounds, yoga is a really effective way to reunite mind and body and take a step back from it all. Check if your college offers yoga classes; I am blessed with friendly, professional sessions in Somerville Chapel every Monday. But the easiest thing is to find a 10-15 minute yoga tutorial on Youtube and just give it a go. I make sure to turn on my fairy lights and turn it into a really cosy evening activity, even when I don’t feel like it.
Izzy (she/her), Senior Editor for Lifestyle and a Classics and French student at Somerville. I’m most often spotted running somewhere late carrying a bubble tea, or curled up sheltering from the Hilary term cold and darkness with the Animal Crossing soundtrack.
Mitigating homesickness
Experiencing a certain degree of homesickness seems to be a uniting factor of the student-body. However much you feel it, it is important to remind yourself that it does not undermine your independence or ability to thrive in an environment away from home.
For me, creating a familiar routine is central to overcoming homesickness. Beyond my university work, I ensure I schedule activities occurring at the same time, at the same place, weekly. For my friend group, this takes the form of attending our 4pm mega JCR tea on Saturdays, regardless of how scattered we are across Oxford or how dedicated we are to our work (most often, not that dedicated). It marks an event to look forward to whilst working on an otherwise unstructured day; an insignificant commitment yields an overwhelming benefit.
In the same vein, an anxious thought can often become less anxious when shared. Talking to people around you in settings like a JCR tea might make you realise you’re one of many who feel the same, removing this illusion that you’re isolated in your feelings. It doesn’t have to take the form of a trauma dump — there’s a high likelihood that a simple “I’m really missing my dog” or “I’m weirdly missing my dad’s bland bolognese” will be followed by someone agreeing wholeheartedly (probably to the former…). It could even become the foundation of a new relationship.
Sophia (she/her), Junior Editor for Lifestyle and a Biochemistry student at Corpus. You can find me in the queue to buy cheese from the Covered Market for our Cheese Soc (6pm Saturday at Corpus, be there or be square xx) or in an unflattering lab coat with goggles.
Life as a Side Character
You came to Oxford and found an awesome group of friends. But you also have equally fun friends back home that matter to you just as much. So, naturally, you split your time. You opt for a term-time contract instead of staying year round so you can have time with your home friends over the vac. But this has its problems: you essentially become a side character in both friend groups, especially if they both stay in their respective locations year round.
Now I know this sounds like I’m complaining about having too many friends, but that is not the point. By having two separate groups of friends, it’s all too easy to feel alienated from both of them. I feel like I’ve been absent for an entire TV season of drama when I return from the vac, and I feel like I miss out on connections back home during term, leading to some crippling FOMO.
This feels like a problem with no solution that doesn’t involve drastic measures, but I obviously don’t want to simply choose one of my friend groups.. However, there are some things you can do to ease the FOMO. The main piece of advice I would give to anyone in a similar situation is to make sure that, instead of having a couple months at home, then at uni, then at home, try to split your time! Go home for a couple of visits to see your friends there, and organise meetups with your Oxford friends during the vac. Doing this prevents you from feeling like you’re taking a two-month-long break from one of your friend groups, and keeps you in the loop about all the drama and lore that you may have missed out on otherwise. I also strongly recommend organising some online hangouts, whether you play some Gartic Phone or just talk to each other.
Leaving home friends behind as you go off to uni is a universal experience, but where people differ is how much they wish to stay attached. For those in a similar boat to me, I hope this advice is helpful to you!
Lex (she/her). Avid philosopher and begrudging psychologist at St. Hilda’s. I’ve been with Lifestyle for a year now. You may find me wandering aimlessly around the city with takoyaki from Gloucester Green or working at my college bar. Or, more likely, I’m crashing out over my degree in my room.
H.A.L.T.
One wellbeing acronym I have recently incorporated into my daily life is HALT (Hungry, Angry/Anxious, Lonely, Tired). Whenever I become aware that I am irritated by everything around me, I try to remind myself of this acronym and figure out which parts most apply to me at that moment. It almost always does come back to HALT.
For hunger, I suggest bananas or a yogurt drink, both of which are great at quashing it for an hour if you really need to get something done. Anger/anxiety is by far the hardest one to attend to — there’s no magic bullet for those feelings. If it comes down to a task that is making you frustrated and angry, perhaps try to do another thing on your to-do list to let those feelings slowly fizzle out. However, if you are anxious because you are not doing the task, it is best to just… do it. Believe me, I also fall into the trap of thinking that not doing it is actually making me feel better, but it really doesn’t, and you just have to remind yourself it feels better at the end once it is completed. If you’re lonely, talk to your family! They are always expecting a message from you and I’m sure they will reply quickly. If that isn’t an option, attempt to sort a study date with a friend—don’t be scared of reaching out. If I’m tired, planning my evening to make sure I go to sleep at a decent time is best. Most importantly, develop the ability to say no if someone invites you to a plan you know will run late, or you will carry yesterday’s baggage into tomorrow.
David (he/they), Junior Editor for Lifestyles and Chemist at LMH. Likely eating a Korean corndog while avoiding going back to the library. Huge enjoyer of just seeing where the day takes me.