Whether or not you celebrate Christmas, the fact alone that you attend a university that has created its very own version of Christmas, the famous Oxmas, probably means you have been roped into watching at least one Christmas film at some point or another.

Some of you may even be die hard fans of Christmas films like I am (and no, Die Hard is not a Christmas film). So I finally decided to write down all the thoughts and reflections I have collected over years and years of cosy evenings spent searching for the cheesiest holiday film. Given that there are so many brilliant Christmas films, and just as many truly atrocious ones, I’ve picked a couple of my favourites in order to really dive into the different relationship dynamics we can find and what they can teach us in this season of joy (and food).

Love (actually) is a bit weird

Starting perhaps with one of the most popular Christmas films of all time, Love Actually (2003), stole all our hearts and cashed in a whopping $246.8 million in box-office. It follows the stories of different couples trying to get by during the daunting countdown to Christmas – a holiday closely associated with romance and love. We cannot deny there is a certain pressure when it comes to big holidays like Christmas, to have a special someone in your life. It can be even worse if your family expects them to come to stay for the holidays. The ten stories in the film are all interlinked and none of them have that typical “conventional” love story. From the washed up singer, Billy Mack (Bill Nighy), who was always too busy to find love, to the little boy, Sam (Thomas Sangster), who is in love with his 5th grade classmate, we have love stories that are able to warm the heart just as much as any Hallmark movie with their stereotype couples. What  particularly struck me were the couples like David and Natalie (Hugh Grant and Martine McCutcheon) or Jamie and Aurelia (Colin Firth and Lucia Moniz). David, the UK’s prime minister, has the money, the status, and the reputation of his dreams, but not quite the love life – that is until Natalie comes along, who is from a conventionally normal, working class family. The dynamic of boss and employee could definitely be frowned upon, if it wasn’t for the fact that even after David tries to push her away, asking her to be replaced as his assistant, she is still willing to give him a chance and accept him as though he were any other man, a man that doesn’t casually dance to “Jump” by The Pointed Sisters down the halls of 10 Downing Street. Another couple worth mentioning, as I said, is Jamie and Aurelia. Now they certainly fit the stereotype of love being ‘a bit weird’. Jamie, after discovering that his fiancée has been sleeping with his brother, withdraws to his French cottage where he meets Portuguese housekeeper Aurélia who does not speak English. Regardless, the two share an undeniable attraction and understanding, and they manage to support each other in a pure and genuine way, united by a connection that perhaps could not be attained with the use of language. There are many messages we can take from movies like Love, Actually. But the one that jumps out at me the most is that during a time where there is so much pressure for everything to be perfect, we should not fall in the trap of searching for the picture-perfect love. Chances are that the love you need, whether that be a romantic partner, a friend or a parent, can be found in the messiest and oddest of ways.

Selfish parents?

Ah, Elf. Who doesn’t love a cosy night in with hot chocolate, popcorn, and Will Ferrell on your TV? But after the first couple of times you watch it, instead of just looking at the cheesy characters and adorable north pole animations, you begin to see the relationship dynamics that expand past the romantic relationship between Buddy and Jovie. Whilst Elf ends with a typical ‘happily-ever-after’ ending to tie into the theme of festive fairy tales, the relationships that strike us the most are not the romantic ones. Buddy arrives in New York determined to find his real father, Walter, after finding out that his biological father was not the two feet tall elf that raised him (shocker). Once he finds Walter, a man who is too wrapped up in his own job and life, Buddy is pushed aside as Walter continues with his seemingly picture-perfect life. That is until his other son, Michael, decides to help Buddy on his quest to save Christmas, whose sleigh is unable to fly due to a shortage in Christmas spirit. Having been through all this, Walter cannot help but realise that perhaps a great, but all consuming job and a laid-back attitude to his family members are not the perfect life he was seeking. Walter has to learn to let go of the selfish idea that everything must go according to his plan and accept the fact that his son is not perfect; he is different, loud and convinced  he is an elf. Another beautiful relationship we see in this film is the brotherhood between Micheal and Buddy. When Buddy first visits their home, Walter’s wife, Emily, suggests he stay until he ‘gets better’, which annoys both her husband and son. The fact that Walter’s job has taken up so much of his time means that he had no time at all for his teenage son, who is left alone to deal with the struggles and intricacies of adolescence, and having an ‘elf’ around the house certainly was not going to help. But, when Buddy helps Micheal defeat a gang of bullies, that is when we truly see the relationship between the two really begin to flourish. The two seemingly have nothing in common at all – they are far apart in age and are brought up world’s apart and have different interests. Yet, they are the only ones (along with Jovie) who are able to encourage the crowd around Santa’s flightless sleigh to sing carols and bring back the Christmas spirit. This common hope and belief in something better is what unites them and shows that brotherhood goes past what flows your veins.

Small town charm

Lost girl in search of something special begrudgingly goes to a random snowy town in the middle of nowhere (often named something way too Christmassy to be real) meets the handsome handyman – who is secretly rich – and falls in love with him. The over-romanticised Christmas town setting tends to be the classic Hallmark Christmas movie. For some reason big-city life in cold, modernly styled apartments is always portrayed as sad and unfulfilling – the only way the main character can feel true happiness is by leaving every sign of stability behind and fully embracing the middle-of-nowhere life. Do not get me wrong, I am a small-town girl through and through: the quiet environment and the community (bonus if there’s snow) are, to me, perfect. But that is not for everyone! There is a tendency to assume that big cities cannot provide the same comfort as small towns. Whilst movies like Single all the way, Christmas Under Wraps or The Christmas Inheritance are truly adorable and definitely showcase that small town charm, they tend to shame those that prefer to live in the city. When it comes to movies like these it is important perhaps to approach this moral with caution. Perhaps instead of spontaneously uprooting your life for a flannel wearing handyman, try to reflect on your life and decide for yourself whether or not you are content with it. Is what you are doing at the moment something you love? Are you doing it for yourself or because society expects you to do so? This applies to all areas of life, and I’m ready to bet that when you read these questions, you thought of something you’d personally like to change or work on. Whilst watching these impossibly good-looking actors find their destiny in a snowy landscape, this may be a time to sit down and think about your own life. At times it may be that you need to learn how to have a better work-life balance, other times it may be the relationships in your life that need changing. Furthermore, another nugget of wisdom that we can take from these… cinematic masterpieces, is that, during the festive season it is ok to go back to that child-like wonder we have all experienced at Christmas time. Sometimes going back to the things you loved as a child can bring back some of that hope and magic that tends to fade as we grow up. So indulge in that a bit – especially now that you have some time off for the holidays!

Light up your life

Who doesn’t love some mulled wine and gingerbread cookies whilst watching a film where Danny De Vito and Matthew Broderick fight to be known as the “Christmas expert” of the town. I’ve hardly ever seen a film so absurd, yet so perfectly in sync with the craziness of Christmas. I mean we’ve all seen shopping centres around a week before Christmas. I wish the best of luck to all of those who procrastinate their gift shopping to the last minute – may the odds be ever in your favour. The film follows two very different neighbours: Steve (Matthew Broderick) who is obsessed with the idea of a perfect Christmas, but falls into the trap of making everyone feel suffocated by his perfect Christmas pictures, the advent calendar traditions, and step-by-step procedure that he applies to tree decorating; and Buddy (Danny De Vito) who is unpredictable and dramatic, deciding that the best way to be accepted into his new neighbourhood is by putting up so many Christmas lights that the house can be seen from outer space (yes, that is literally the plot). Safe to say both plans fail when the two neighbours take it too far. Spoiler alert, Steve, after he loses a bet made against Buddy, yells at Buddy about being a nobody, and Buddy compensates his feeling of failure by buying a huge amount of programmable LED lights, which he pays for by hocking his wife Tia’s expensive heirloom vase, causing his wife and daughters to leave him. Steve is also concocting his own revenge plan in the meantime, buying various fireworks including The Atomic Warlord (in case you don’t know – and I hope you don’t – this is a large, illegal, military grade rocket) and tries to destroy the Hall’s house. The rocket misfires, setting the town Christmas tree on fire, and Steve’s family leaves, but not before his own wife, Kelly scolds him for ignoring his children to focus on his revenge on Buddy. When both of them calm down, they join forces to get their families to forgive them, realising that Christmas is not about the decorations or the gifts or who has the title of “Christmas Expert”, but about celebrating and cherishing your family and friends. Whilst to the naked eye this may seem like a simple comedy, I think that it showcases a bit of the madness that tends to take over when we get competitive and the potential harm to those around you when things are taken too far. Granted, personal goals are important, and at the end of a year it is nice to reflect on what you want to achieve in the coming year. That, however, does not define you. There tends to be a lot of panic around the end of the year, the worry that perhaps you haven’t done enough. A personal goal or New Year’s resolution should not be something that makes you feel like a failure, it should be something that pushes you to improve your year! If by the end of the year you haven’t achieved it, that does not mean in any way that you have failed your year, it simply means your focus has shifted onto something else. Rushing, at the end of the year, to showcase all you’ve done, just so it can look like you’ve had a glowing year, will not change the fact that perhaps, this year, your focus needed to be on something else. And that is ok! On the first of January, after one glass too many of champagne, it is hard to predict exactly what you will need for the next 365 days. It’s a really long time to plan, after all. So perhaps, this year, instead of panicking and going overboard thinking about all the things you haven’t done, try reflecting on what you have achieved and all of the amazing people that are surrounding you right now that have lit up your year.

To sum it all up, I think a really fun part of the winter holidays, if not the best part, is being around all your loved ones and watching some classic Christmas films. So many have been made at this point, and there really is one for everyone. But if you don’t know where to start, I hope that this article has given you a starting point. So, this festive season, I hope you have time to sit down and relax after an intense Michaelmas term, and enjoy some time off accompanied by some fun Christmas movies.

Happy Holidays!