In 2015 I watched a film called Brooklyn. It follows Saoirse Ronan as Eilis, a young Irish woman who moves to New York in the 1950s in search of work. The central theme of the movie is her devastating, and beautifully portrayed, experience of homesickness and how she navigates this. During my time at university, this film has come to resonate with me and remains one of the loveliest films I have ever watched.

First Year

My luck when starting at Oxford was, to say the least, abysmal. I am an international student from Australia, and I began my studies in 2020, as the UK was going into its second big wave of the pandemic. I came over with a sense of hope and a feeling that I knew what I was in for; I knew I would be homesick (two years prior, I had been on an exchange to France) but thought it would be manageable. And although I did manage, the homesickness I felt in that first Michaelmas was one of the worst times in my life.

At this time, we were only allowed to socialise indoors with those who were in our immediate accommodation block. While we could go for walks outdoors, I found it hard to meet people and then build strong relationships. Further, the normal traditions which I had heard of – the formals, dinners, bops, bar nights, society events – were just not there. In a new environment and a new country, my sense of isolation and homesickness was overwhelmingly exacerbated. On the academic side too, everything was affected: I did not go to an in-person lecture until second year, and only three of my tutorials in Michaelmas of first year were in person – not the experience I had anticipated.

There were days upon days in that first term where I would cry on the phone to my parents, not knowing how I would bear the intensity of how alone I felt and how much I missed home. They asked if I wanted to defer for a year and come back; I am glad I didn’t, but the temptation was crushing. This was all made worse by the fact that I knew how hard it would be to get back home; Australia had an extremely strict border, flights were few and very expensive. But I am very fortunate to have eventually gotten home after the university announced that Hilary term would be online as well.

Second Year

Second year posed new challenges. I had been back home in Australia since February of that year and was quite scared to feel the homesickness and heartache I remembered from first year. Despite my experience in first year, I found it difficult to adjust to the opening of social activities whilst also doing my degree. I’ll be going home soon for the first time since January and I am so excited. I have been very lucky to have made a lot of great friends, have had some amazing experiences this year and I am quite proud to say that I haven’t felt an almost survivalist instinct to go home like I did in first year.

As a reminder to anyone who is feeling homesick, know that it will get better. I would also add that homesickness, I think, is ever-present; it will come and go in waves, so be kind to yourself when you feel those emotions.

Advice

Sometimes there is nothing to do but let homesickness be felt, but I thought I would share some of the small things I’ve done which help me with these feelings:  

  • Having lots of photos of family and friends around your room is a really nice way for you to see those familiar faces each day. Sometimes I will be reading, or writing an essay, and my eyes will drift over and I’ll see the photo I have of my grandparents on my desk, and I’ll smile as I am filled with memories of them.
  • Call family and friends from home as much as you need, because although university life can be very busy, making time for those relationships is important. I find it comforting to reminisce about places from home, or times from high school and younger years in those phone calls.
  • And finally, when you are feeling homesick and overwhelmed, go for a walk and get some fresh air to clear your head. Getting outside, away from college and my room, listening to some music, and just taking in the beauty of the city always makes me feel better.

I feel this article has been horribly self-indulgent, but I hope it helps anyone who needs it to know that how they are feeling is completely normal, whether you’re a fresher or a finalist, undergrad or postgrad. As the saying goes, ‘Home is where the heart is’, and our hearts are split between so many places throughout our lives. I think that the fact that we feel homesick, although it sucks, can be a beautiful thing.