how-mediation-helps-parents-agree-on-child-arrangements-in-a-divorce

Divorce can be a difficult process for a couple and even more so when children are involved. It is not only about establishing custody and visitation arrangements, but also about reorganizing family dynamics to ensure emotional stability and effective well-being for the children.

In these cases, the processes tend to be longer and, if not managed correctly, can become expensive for some families as they are forced to go through the traditional judicial process. This is why family mediation services have established themselves in the UK as an effective and speedy alternative, facilitating dialogue between parents and encouraging agreements that benefit all parties.

Why child arrangements are often the most sensitive part of a divorce?

In a divorce where children are involved, the issue becomes more sensitive and emotionally more complex. In the UK, 42% of marriages end in divorce and, according to the Office for National Statistics, more than half of those divorces involve children.

The biggest concern for divorcing parents is that any decision to divorce must ensure the emotional, psychological and educational well-being of their children. But, in order to reach an understanding, many couples find themselves at odds with each other, generating conflict of intentions, making the procedure lengthy and expensive.

How family mediation works in parenting disputes

Before resorting to court proceedings, mediation has become the shortest way to resolve a divorce with children involved.

The role of the mediator

The mediator becomes the neutral axis of the mediation sessions. The role, as the name suggests, is to mediate and bring the parties to an agreement based on dialogue, without imposing decisions. This helps to identify the interests of each party and to find practical and sustainable solutions.

Typical topics discussed

During mediation sessions, the most common issues are:

· Shared or sole custody

· Visitation schedules

· Changes of residence or school

· School holidays and holidays

· Communication with the children

· Shared expenses

Parenting plan or agreement

The main objective of the mediation sessions is for the parents to end up with an agreement on the table that looks at the welfare of the child. This plan may include

· Living together schedules

· Participation in educational and medical decisions

· Handling of unforeseen situations

· Mechanisms for resolving future disagreements

Benefits of mediation for parents and children

Mediation is a mechanism that is not only beneficial for parents, but also for children. These are the main benefits:

Child-focused

Unlike other types of mediation, in divorces involving children, the focus is always on the needs of the youngest children. According to National Family Mediation, more than 70% of parents who access mediation reach agreements that they consider satisfactory for their children.

Preserves co-parenting relationships

By encouraging dialogue and cooperation between parents, mediation helps to reduce resentment and improve long-term communication between the parties involved.

Saves time and money

While the average cost of traditional court proceedings can exceed £5000, mediation typically costs between £500 and £1500. Furthermore, settlements in mediation are reached in an average of 110 days, compared to more than 435 days in court proceedings.

Encourages mutual agreement

Thanks to the work of the mediator, consensual solutions are reached that become more durable over time. 72% of the cases handled by services such as Direct Mediation Services end with a partial or complete settlement without the need to go to trial.

Situations where mediation may not be appropriate

However, there are situations where mediation is not an appropriate mechanism to resolve a conflict. These cases are:

· When one of the parties is involved in allegations of domestic abuse or coercion.

· When communication between the parents is totally broken down and there is no willingness to dialogue.

· When one of the parents refuses to attend. In these cases, a MIAM certificate is issued to enable the judicial process to take place.

How to start the mediation process in the UK

If you are going through a divorce and want to hire a family mediation service in the UK, here are the steps to follow:

Choose an accredited family mediator

The first step is to choose a professional who is accredited by the Family Mediation Council (FMC). To do this, you can search for ‘mediators near me’ and find experts who can be found, for example, at Direct Mediation Services.

Attend a MIAM

Before submitting an application to the court, it is compulsory to carry out the MIAM with Direct Mediation Services or the professional of your choice. It is used to assess whether mediation is appropriate in each case. It costs between £90 and £120.