CW: substance abuse
Beautiful Boy goes far beyond in serving as a simple memoir about a father straining to protect his methamphetamine-addicted son. At its heart lies a harrowing telling of the everlasting devotion that a parent can have for their child. David Sheff takes the reader through a reflection on his son Nicholas (Nic)’s childhood in San Francisco, California: from a separation between Sheff and his first wife and its impact on Nic, to settling into a family with new half-siblings and a stepmother, and eventually to the overwhelming influence that substances begin to have on Nic. The tenacity of Sheff’s love for his son is clear in his attempt at destigmatizing the conversation about substance and alcohol abuse. The memoir sparks conversations about tackling the opioid epidemic that has, since the 1990s, found itself deeply rooted within modern society. This work’s sincere mission is to encourage others to speak up in support of treatment plans for those suffering, as well as to inspire further research into a “cure” for addiction.
Due to the fact that Nic was particularly addicted to methamphetamine, Sheff researched its effects in an attempt to save and, in a way, understand his son. Much of this study is incorporated in the memoir. Through data and scientific recordings, Sheff shines a light onto how unique methamphetamine is, given that it is much more detrimental to both mind and body and more challenging to quit in comparison to general opiates. Sheff further explains that the brain damage from methamphetamine abuse is permanent, resulting in the abuser’s inability to ever recover fully. The importance of presenting such information alongside a gut-wrenching, first-person insight can be seen in how it accentuates the reader’s ability to comprehend the reality of such a stigmatised stimulant and its rarely-discussed, long-term effects. Alongside datasets, Sheff sprinkles qualitative research throughout the memoir. For example, chapter 9 begins with an 1887 remark made by German chemist Lazar Edeleanu (who was the first to synthesise amphetamine) in which the scientist recalls having created a “miraculous drug [….] which inspires imagination and [….] energy” (Sheff, 139). This 1919 creation leads to methamphetamine being synthesised when put through a simple change in its molecular structure. In the 1930s, Methedrine becomes the first commercialised pill form of methamphetamine to be utilised as an appetite suppressant and mood stimulant. A quote taken from an advertisement for the medication promises the ability to “Never again feel dreary or suffer the blues”.
The historical relevance of methamphetamine and its influence worldwide is made clear by Sheff as he continues to elaborate, through his research in the memoir, on the presence of the drug in modern society. Sheff continues a timeline of its rising relevance throughout World War II, which at the time enabled large-spread methamphetamine usage to advance militant troop endurance and overall performance capabilities. By 1948, Philopon and Sedrin (both “milder” dosage formulations of methamphetamine sold over-the-counter) were used in Japan to the point where “[….] fifty-five thousand people had developed symptoms of methamphetamine-induced psychosis” (Sheff, 139). The 1950s and ‘60s enabled the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to categorise methamphetamine as a controlled substance and see its existence materialise throughout various states (California and specifically the San Francisco region). Sheff also touches on the detrimental implications that methamphetamine, particularly its creation process, has on the environment. In areas where it is made, “The manufactur[ing] of one pound of methamphetamine creates six pounds of corrosive liquids, acid vapors, heavy metals, solvents, and other harmful materials” (Sheff, 147). Well into the 2000’s U.S. Bush administration, Sheff recollects the Office of National Drug Control Policy’s actions to sweep testimonies of five hundred local law enforcement officials who had marked down methamphetamine use as their “number one problem” (behind cocaine and marijuana) under the rug. This turning point became the first time that a plurality deemed methamphetamine a significant drug to be addressed within the United States.
Sheff’s personal narrative within this piece unfolds tragically as he talks about how his exceptionally sharp, adored by many, cherished son is assured for a most joyful and prosperous future. Sheff suggests that, growing up, Nic is the type of child that no one “expects” to become a substance abuser. This statement stresses the critical apothegm: addiction does not discriminate. As Nic grows older and his dependence on methamphetamine strengthens, Sheff attempts to settle him into rehabilitation programs as a minor, but to no avail. Finally, once Nic turns 18, he decides to leave home. He doesn’t leave behind any information about where he is going or how he might be contacted.
Sheff endeavours to make it through days on end without any contact with or knowledge of the whereabouts of his son. When they do finally meet, there is an air of turbulence that hangs between them. As the reader, we observe Sheff’s most impuissant moments: the uneasy and oftentimes furious conversations between father and son, immobilising fear, penitence, and brutal agony.
The memoir’s immense capability to move readers is a direct result of its genuine sincerity. Sheff’s decision to cite his conversations throughout numerous Alcoholics Anonymous meetings allows the reader a sense of complete transparency: Sheff believes that he bears some of the blame for Nic’s addiction:
Whatever the cause—a genetic predisposition, the divorce, my drug history, my overprotectiveness, my failure to protect him, my leniency, my harshness, my immaturity, all of these—Nic’s addiction seemed to have had a life of its own.
An essential part of this memoir, in particular, is its ability to analyse and elaborate on a detrimental substance that has seemingly engulfed much of today’s youth. The National Survey on Drug Use and Health reports that in the United States, “among people aged 12 or older in 2020, 0.9% (or about 2.6 million people) reported using methamphetamine in the past 12 months”.
While there are a number of substance abusers who have written memoirs discussing and reflecting on their troubles, obtaining an insight into how their families grapple with the same turmoil is considered a rarity. This memoir stresses a considerable point, as Sheff reveals that an abuser’s loved one must also participate in life-altering suffering. Albeit just as disturbing, it is crucial to share such reflections through a differing lens. Beautiful Boy is tremendously profound as it aims to, with hope, educate the public on the dangers of methamphetamine through overarching connections to the desperate powers of grief, loss, and love.