Studying Medicine: My Childhood Dream
All my life, I had one dream: I wanted to become a doctor. I wanted to help people, be more empathetic, become proficient at work, and provide a level of care and understanding that I never received from some of the doctors I had encountered. I was also fascinated by the human body, and rather than providing curative care, I was motivated to take a preventive approach.
Getting into medical school in Germany is notoriously difficult. However, immediately after finishing high school, I was offered a place to study medicine—a dream come true for many, including myself. While some must wait many years to secure a spot in medical school, I could start right away!
I was filled with excitement and anticipation during the first week of introductions. I could not wait for the actual courses to start. But just one month into the program, I realised something I did not want to admit: medical school was not the right fit for me.
Why, you ask? Once I immersed myself in the rigour of the course—including physics, chemistry, and the countless anatomy textbooks—I began to feel increasingly out of place. While my peers eagerly absorbed the material, I found myself disengaged and unable to connect with the subject matter in a way that felt natural.
It was not just that the sciences did not align with my strengths—it was that the aspects of learning I truly enjoyed, such as reading, debating, and writing, had little place in my medical studies. I thrived in analyzing texts, crafting arguments, and engaging in thoughtful discussion, but the technical nature of medicine left me feeling stifled. The further I progressed, the more I questioned whether this path was truly right for me. I had always aspired to become a doctor and was aware of the subjects I needed to study, yet the reality of what it took to get there clashed with my true passions and shattered my illusions about the studies.
It also occurred to me that being surrounded by death would be a constant aspect of my work—a harsh reality that one should be aware of. Would I be able to emotionally distance myself without losing my humanity? This question gnawed at me and reinforced my feeling that I might be heading in the wrong direction.
Dropping Out: Reasons and Struggles
Deciding which professional path to pursue is one of the hardest decisions a young person has to make. It feels like such an important choice—one that shapes your future, at least to some extent. In today’s world, with countless options available, the weight of that decision can seem even more daunting.
I was burdened by feelings of guilt for not enjoying the path I had chosen and for doubting whether I was making the right decision in changing it. I had promised everyone that I would become the first doctor in my family, and I did not want to disappoint them. However, I was and remain incredibly lucky to have a family that supports me no matter what. Nonetheless, I could not shake the thought that I had taken a study spot from someone who truly wanted it.
For weeks, even months, I wrestled with this decision. I kept telling myself, ‘Maybe this is just a phase; maybe things will change.’ After my dropout, I felt like I had completely failed, which is why I generally avoided talking about dropping out in the past.
Finding the right path was far from easy and I kept thinking, ‘What now?‘. I decided to pursue internships in different fields, and through this process, I discovered that law—something I had always assumed would be tremendously boring—is incredibly fascinating and deeply relevant to everyday life. During my internship at a law firm, I realized that working as an advocate can be both exciting and deeply engaging. The fast-paced environment, the strategic thinking required in each case, and the impact lawyers have on people’s lives truly captivated me. So, finally, after one semester of studying medicine, I switched to law and enrolled in the law program at the same university in Germany. This decision marked the beginning of a new chapter in my life, one that I felt more aligned with both intellectually and personally.
Why It Was the Best Thing That Happened to Me
I do not regret my decision at all. Otherwise, I would have spent my entire life wondering: ‘What if?’ Because becoming a doctor was my dream at the time, I felt compelled to pursue it and I do not think my time at medical school was pointless. Indeed, one of the greatest outcomes was the friends I made during the first few weeks. They continue to be an important part of my life, and we remain in touch to this day. I am also deeply grateful for the subjects I was able to study and the knowledge I gained while at medical school and the decision to change felt like a weight lifted off my shoulders.
Now, three years into law, my law program in Germany has given me the incredible opportunity to study at the University of Oxford. It has turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life. At Oxford, I discovered something truly remarkable: I could combine my interests in medicine and law in a way that felt both intellectually stimulating and deeply fulfilling. Studying medical law, specifically, has been such a great combination for me, as it allows me to explore legal cases that offer insights into medical conditions and diseases, while also enabling me to understand medicine from a legal perspective. The cases I study not only deepen my knowledge of the law but also provide me with the chance to learn more about diseases and healthcare. I am thrilled to have the opportunity to study medical law with some of the leading scholars in the field, which brings together both of my passions in a meaningful way.
Diving into cases, analyzing them, and meticulously breaking down every detail is where I find excitement and satisfaction. The process of uncovering the nuances of a case and crafting a precise argument is something that drives me—it is an intellectual challenge that constantly pushes me to grow. Ultimately, as a lawyer, I will still be helping people by navigating the legal complexities that impact their everyday lives. Medical law, in particular, gives me the opportunity to understand the inner workings of the medical system and use my legal skills to support those who have been wronged and make a tangible difference in their lives. The chance to advocate for individuals who may not have a voice and to make a tangible difference in their lives is what fuels my passion for this field.
A New Perspective on Change
Dropping out of medical school or any educational institution, for that matter, is commonplace. Even though in Germany about 30 percent and in the UK about 6 percent of all students drop out of university once, not many people talk about it. I never did, but it is important. You should not force yourself to stick with a job or career path that you do not truly enjoy. This does not mean you should quit the moment things get difficult, but if you genuinely know that it is not the right path for you, it is okay to make a change. This is not failure, as I always thought it was. It took some time, but I was able to grow out of that mindset.
I had no idea at the time that stepping away from medicine would take me down a path that would eventually lead to me studying law at Oxford. What initially felt like a failure turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened to me.